Have you ever wanted to deactivate all your social media accounts? Drastic? Maybe. Honestly, I'm just tired. Tired of seeing so many people living the life I thought God had planned out for me.
What's your Instagram feed filled with? These days all I see is people buying houses, getting married and landing that dream job. All things I am not experiencing in my own life. I'm not where I want to be. I'm not where I thought I'd be and if I'm honest, that's a hard pill to swallow!
For those of you who don't know me, I'm a fashion designer. Ever since I was 6 years old I wanted to make clothes. I started with dolls, It moved up to teddies, then making items for myself and now real-life paying humans!
I remember being invited to showcase my clothes at a fashion show a few years ago. It was a significant event, my dad had even paid to be a sponsor to get me into the show! I summoned my best friend as my assistant and rocked up feeling all excited and confident only to find another designer who also had a collection similar to mine, but better. I felt small and insignificant. I wanted the ground to swallow me up there and then! I watched as the models were excited to try on the other designer’s garments and how they marvelled at every outfit combination.
I felt disappointed in myself, and in my designs.
“Why couldn’t I have been the one to design clothes like that?“,
“Laura, you need to up your game”,
"After seeing those clothes no one will care about yours."
Thoughts of doubt penetrated my mind and plagued my insides. There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. As proud as I felt as my garments paraded the runway, I couldn't shake the lies I'd built up in my mind. I left that event feeling empty and useless.
I had a call with someone I loved and respected a few days after the show. It was obvious that something was bothering me so I opened up to her and explained how I was feeling. I'll never forget the three questions she asked me in response to my insecurities:
Were those clothes actually better than yours?
What made them better than yours?
If you had the chance to, would you really have designed those clothes?
I struggled to give a straight answer.
Better is subjective. I had nothing to base my insecurities on and if I was completely honest with myself, the clothes the designer made, as beautiful as they were, weren’t in keeping with the values I had chosen for my brand.
I fell prey to comparison.
But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. For each one shall bear his own load.
There will always be competition, it’s a part of life. There will always be someone better than you, someone doing more than you, and someone at a different stage in life than you. But none of that defines you.
Your best friend getting married does not invalidate your singleness. If you're still working to get that dream job while the other graduates in your class have already 'made it', that doesn't mean you're a failure. If people younger than you are already buying their first house, it doesn't mean you're being left behind.
Don't let perfectly posed photos, on perfectly composed grids, in a curated feed distract you from your purpose.
“We won’t be distracted by comparison if we are captivated with purpose.” - Bob Goff
Each journey of life is a unique path that only God knows the outcome of. It's hard out here. Life seems to be a series of hurdles and competitions. Everyone is striving for the best yet forgetting our biggest threat lies inside ourselves. God doesn't call us to comparison because He cares about us as individuals. He cares about what you are doing with the time He has given you. He has a purpose and a plan specifically for your life and my life.
Learn from my lesson. Don't allow yourself to be consumed by comparing yourself to others. Instead, choose to live in the purpose God has for you. Comparison is the thief of joy, don't let anyone rob you of yours.
About the Author
Hi, my name is Laura Jane
In short, I love God and love to serve him through business and ministry. I would describe myself as an entrepreneur/fashion designer. God has blessed me with an African Fashion brand - Asikara (www.Asikara.co.uk) and a Christian clothing brand - Stay Lit Apparel (www.staylitapparel.co.uk) two outlets in which I can spread His love to people I may never even meet. I also love to sing and I’m so grateful to be a part of a ministry called Scripture Says Acappella (www.scripturesaysacappella.co.uk).